The text on the image reads
Anger, despair, frustration are no match for the power of skull socks.
I will not fade.
I figure it's good to know your crutches. Silly socks are definitely crutches for me. Whether it's pandemic season, corporate blah blah, intense freelance, teaching marathons, or the hardest paintings of my life, things like ninja kittens and skull heads and bees on my socks get me through. They cost about the same as a fancy coffee or two and last a lot longer.
Both of my favorite places to buy outlandish socks are in California. One is in Fort Bragg, and the other is in Long Beach. I get to Fort Bragg rarely these days, but I have a little sock fund set aside for it just in case.
So yeah, I had some moments of really not being pleased today. The details don't matter. What matters is that I noticed in time to stop the downward spiral and to choose to stop the spin. Storm clouds averted, as they should be on a gorgeous seventy-some-odd-degree day in April.
While the details don't matter, the concepts may. I started to question where I was in my life. That's a rough thing to do to oneself in general, but especially during soft lockdown in the middle of a global pandemic. Looking at my cute little life without remembering global context is pretty brutal right now. I'm not alone in this. I also understand that I'm not all that bad off, comparatively. I shouldn't be complaining. I have all sorts of things that I get to take for granted. Things that people 300 yards from me may or may not have—like internet access and a kind and supportive partner. If my sort of distant/kind of close neighbors might not have these things, then how the hell are people doing even farther away from my realm of understanding and experience? Most of what I've seen about relieving people's hardships in this crisis in this country is geared for people with some level of means. How do people without addresses or bank accounts get a stimulus check? That money would make a much more useful impact on their lives (and probably the economy) than it does in mine. Bottom up is so much more helpful than trickle down. Things grow from the bottom up. Stuff dies relying on something that only trickles down.
I'm no expert. Maybe it's the socks talking. Maybe it's the socks talking me down, still.
Sidenote: I had a good little conversation with my mom about plants today.
Also: I'm not sure I've ever worn this dress before. It's very body-huggy. I have a hard time with that often. It's easier when no one will see me but me and The Husband. The socks came from Ft. Bragg. And I love them. The scarf is one I crocheted for myself. There's a rhino that lives in my car who is wearing a matching tiny waist sash. Aurora Rhino is my driving buddy. I miss her.